One person’s awakening
“I can’t think of a single lost person I know well enough to invite to do a gospel Bible study with!” These were my words to my wife when I was first challenged to find five lost people with whom to a build a redemptive relationship. And I’m a pastor, a “professional” gospel-sharer! Over the subsequent years, I have heard the same sentiment from many friends, especially those in vocational ministry. In fact, those most interested in obeying the Great Commission are often the most involved in church life. And ironically those that are heavily invested in “ministry” can easily become so isolated in church life that they lose meaningful connections with unbelievers.
The Find Five Challenge
The Exchange ministry suggests praying for and seeking to develop redemptive relationships with at least five of the following: friends and family, associates and acquaintances, neighbors and strangers. But if one is brave enough to accept this challenge, where should he/she begin? In my life, I have found two categories of candidates on my list: people I already knew but was afraid to approach spiritually, and those that I did not know but I suspected needed the gospel.
Baby Steps
By God’s grace, my list grew from zero to five to more! And I have found great joy in seeing people on my list come to Christ through our redemptive relationship. Again, I am not an expert. I was in many ways a failure at relational evangelism. For me, it was helpful to admit that failure while simultaneously taking the first steps to completing the Find Five challenge.
I started with the people I knew. I actually took out an old-fashioned piece of paper and wrote down the name of every person I knew pretty well who was unsaved. My short list was comprised almost entirely of extended family or neighbors living in adjacent properties to mine. It shocked me a bit to realize that most of the people on my list lived so close to me! It seems obvious now, but I was completely skipping this “low-hanging fruit”. I have five neighbors: one I share a fence with behind my property, one on the east, one on the west, one across the street, and one 2 doors down I have connected with in the past. Sound familiar? Most of us have similar situations. All these people knew I was a Christian. I knew all their names. But I had never reached a point in our relationship where I felt comfortable sharing the gospel, until…I made a plan to connect with each! Here are some anecdotes from my life that I hope will help and encourage you to do the same!
A Few Anecdotes
Let’s start with Sreeyan and Aadya. I noticed Sreeyan struggling with a project and loaned him a tool. After demonstrating how to use the tool, checking on his progress, and retrieving the tool, he and I struck up a bit of a friendship. Progress! One day I said this, “Sreeyan, I’m really glad I’ve gotten to know you and your family over the past few weeks. I’m thankful for neighbors that I can call friends! The most important thing to me is my faith. Would you ever be interested in sitting down and talking about Jesus with me? He said yes and wanted his wife to participate as well! That was “easy!”
Tanya locked herself out of her house. Rather than driving into the garage and closing the door behind me when I noticed, I asked if she needed some help. “Can I borrow a ladder? I locked myself out!” After crawling through a window and unlocking her door, I had a chance to ask her about her faith. Turns out, she is a Christian! Here we were, living across the street from each other for several years, not realizing we were siblings in the family of God! What an encouragement to deepen our friendship enough to find that out!
Kevin works two jobs and has difficulty finding the time to blow the snow from his own driveway. Over the years, when I get home from work early enough to do so, I try to clean his driveway after I clean mine. It only takes about an hour of my day, maybe four or five hours each year, but it has formed a great foundation for a lasting friendship that is now on the level where faith conversations are not only acceptable, but expected!
Carl retrofitted a work van into a camper. I love carpentry and camping. Perfect fit! After a few conversations about the camper, I was invited in for a full tour. We even exchanged numbers so that I could look after his property on his first big trip. We now regularly invite Carl and Sally to our small group as well as special church activities. We consider each other friends, and conversations about faith are becoming more and more normal for us.
These are just a few examples from my neighbors, but neighbors are just the place to start. No doubt, you have another open door to lost people if you take some time to strategize. Jerry was an “unlikely prospect” on my list. He was a local government official that I had connected with briefly, but I knew I could reach out and deepen that connection if I would just take the time. Over time and a few invites to our home, our friendship blossomed into a friendship between his girlfriend and my wife. What a joy to see Tanya become the first adult that my wife has led to Christ in years! All because of a willingness to deepen a connection into a true friendship. Sidenote: Jerry and I are now very close friends. Even though he moved out of state years ago, we still stay connected, speaking on the phone at least twice each month and staying in each other’s homes when we visit the area. Turns out that relational evangelism not only works, it’s a lot of fun!
Tips to get started
Having a hard time finding five lost people with whom you can build a relationship? Start here:
- Pray. Ask the Lord to show you “the fields white unto harvest.”
- Make a paper list. There is something more intentional and effective about good old fashioned paper lists!
- Always be thinking of who can go on this list. It should be a work in progress, something you are constantly updating.
- Start with your neighbors. They are the most obvious and most overlooked mission field for many Christians.
- Find another way to connect with your community: community leaders, police, fire service, community events, community service
And don’t forget! Make a working plan to slowly deepen each of these relationships in meaningful ways. God uses relationships to spread His gospel! And He wants to use you to form those relationships!
Brad Stille is the Lead Pastor at First Baptist Church of Wixom, Michigan and serves as an Exchange Trainer. Contact Brad about leading an Exchange Training Event or to discuss this article at [email protected].